


Third Visit

by SpinelisBebe



Series: 💖Her Garden🌷 [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Emotional Hurt, Gen, Happy Ending, Light Angst, Mental Breakdown, Self-Reflection, i don't really know how to tag, i'm sorry--
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-13
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:40:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21778777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpinelisBebe/pseuds/SpinelisBebe
Summary: Spinel visits the Garden for the supposedly last time, but decides that, just like her, it deserves a second chance, and it can change.
Series: 💖Her Garden🌷 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1570333
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	Third Visit

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I decided to write this because, well, I really love Spinel's character and I also enjoy writing. I'm not a professional writer, though, and English is my second language, so I apologize for any mistakes that may appear :)  
Constructive criticism and feedback are appreciated!!

Even though it was the place she had spent most of her life at, it felt completely foreign. During her time waiting there, it had changed drastically, but the differences were so gradual and slow, and compressed into such a large amount of time, that she barely noticed; all of a sudden, one moment, it was there. Just like her. The Garden now felt just empty, haunted even, in spite of how lively and sympathetic it once was. Just like her.

Spinel hated that place, and she hated just how similar it was to her. That probably was the reason why it had stayed on her mind even when she had finally found happiness; or at least what she thought was happiness. In the beginning, everything was just fine, but on the past few days, everything on her mind was the Garden, the Garden, the Garden. Standing alone in the middle of nowhere, abandoned twice, once by Pink, and once by Spinel. She couldn't help but feel bad, and hate that feeling; she had spent 6000 years there, but that time was something she wished to forget. She didn't want to associate with that place any longer. But there she was, hoping to put her mind at ease.

The thought of being completely alone in that place still disturbed Spinel a lot. She must have had gone crazy if she thought coming there by herself was a good idea; maybe she should have told someone about it, instead of just escaping from the palace to go there. But she was sure that if she had told the Diamonds, they would try to stop her from going, and if she told the Pearls, they would tell the Diamonds. If something happened, would they even know where to look for her?

Would they even bother looking?

Spinel brushed the thoughts off, before they managed to gain enough control to become a whole line. At this point, she already knew that she had to cut bad thoughts in the bud, or else they would grow, grow and grow, and become destructive thoughts, which she didn't want. It took a while for Spinel to finally risk it and step out of the safety of the warp pad and go down the stairs, while eyeing everything around her; it was just as bad as when she had been there the last time, if not worse. It was obvious, and it was what she expected, but a part of her still childishly hoped that it would revert to how it used to be. 

She kept walking forwards, going past the fountain, the pillars, and all the dead bushes. Spinel instinctively avoided the growing vines, fearing that they would somehow gain life and wrap themselves around her feet and body, trapping her there again, this time forever. She then stared down at broken pieces on the top of the pink podium: the communicator she had broken. When that happened, she was alongside Steven, but now there was nobody else there, just the Garden. A mixture of anger and sadness began to boil up inside of her Gem, begging to be released, and this time it was so sudden and unbridled that she had no time to control it.

With a pained cry, she turned her whole body around and swung her fist onto one of the floating pink pillars, making it collapse to the floor with a lot of noise. No, it still wasn't enough to satiate the rampaging hunger for destruction inside of her; so she punched another one of the columns, this time one that was already damaged, and watched as cracks spread through its structure like spiderwebs, before it finally gave in and fell to the floor, broken. She wasn't satisfied. Finally, just before she fell to her knees, she struck the fountain, freeing all the dirty water and withering leaves inside. Even the scalding rage she had felt just a second ago had left her now, making her empty.

"Stupid Garden... stupid game..." she whispered, pressing the ground with her hands. "Stupid... me..."

One of the flowers previously swimming on the water of the fountain was taken towards her by the running water. It was small, just about the size of her thumb, and looked pretty worn out; the few petals that still remained on it were of a reddish color, that probably looked even more vibrant on the past. Spinel took the flower on her hands, examining it. Something in that flower ignited the wrath inside of her once again, maybe the fact that it insisted to stay alive and beautiful despite its miserable situation. Getting up, she threw the flower on the ground and lifted her foot over it, ready to crush it with her boot...

'_You can make it better,  
We don't have to fight!  
You can make an effort,  
Starting with tonight!  
'Cause you,  
You can make a... change._'

The words echoing on her mind and the memories they brought made her freeze on the spot, her foot just centimeters away from the flower. She was doing it again; taking out her frustration on those who didn't deserve it. It wasn't fair. After everything she had put others through, all she _didn't_ want was to hurt someone else again, let alone someone innocent. But how could she stop, with all those feelings running wild inside of her? How could she let everything out without hurting others or herself?

"I'm sorry," Spinel said honestly, sitting down and placing the flower on the palm of her hand. It was one of the most delicate things she had ever seen, and yet, still one of the most determined ones. She wished she could be like that. She wanted to try being like that. "I don't want to hurt people who don't deserve it. Not anymore."

Spinel got up and walked to a part full of dirt and dead grass, where she carefully planted the small flower. It was bad, it was clear on her eyes that it was that way. It had no hopes to survive, unless it managed to obtain everything it needed, somehow. And Spinel was the only one who could provide it with such; whether that flower would live or die depended on her, and it honestly felt like a great weight on her shoulders. Not because she didn't want to, but because she _wanted to_. She wanted to help that flower grow and find love, she wanted to give it love. She wanted to spread love instead of hate, for once, just like the old times.

She looked around her. At all the dead, seemingly hopeless flowers; could she restore them? Would it be hard? Would it take long? No, those weren't the questions she should be asking herself. 

"How can I start?" she said, a soft smile starting to appear on her lips.

To make it become real, she had to start making plans. She needed to start thinking about the future: about what she wanted the Garden to be like. Change it for the better, perhaps even better than what it was like before! She could hardly wait to share her project with everyone and ask for their opinions, maybe they would even want to join and help... but, still, she wanted to be able to command everything. 

She wanted to be involved with the Garden, bond with it. Get to know it better. Spinel wanted to make the Garden hers; if she had changed, then it could change too, for the better, and she wanted to help and accompany it on that journey that both of them had started. They could change. And they could find love.

Spinel happily walked back to the warp pad and took a last look at the Garden, before waving and smiling.

"I'll be back soon... I promise!"

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my fanfic!! I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
